Mr Bram Stoker's The Mummy
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: The sands will part, the heavens will rise, and a parody shall be unleashed
1. Cast

**Mr. Bram Stoker's The Mummy**

 **Starring**

 **Axton the Commando as Axton O'Connell**

 **Constable Neyla as Neyla "Evy" Carnahan**

 **Shaggy Rogers as Shaggy Carnahan**

 **Colonel Volgin as Imhotep**

 **Wilhelm as Warden**

 **Handsome Jack as Beni**

 **Sir Hammerlock as Hammer**

 **Captain Jack Sparrow as well… Captain Jack Sparrow of the Medjai**

 **Asaji Ventriss as Asaji-Su-Namun**

 **Various Others as Mummies, Soldiers, Priests, Toongyptians, etc.**


	2. The Living Death

**Mr. Bram Stoker's The Mummy**

 **Chapter 1: THE ETERNAL DEATH**

Film begins with the sun blazing. Pan back to see that we are in Toongypt, city of Thebes. Pan over to chariot with soldiers

"Thebes, City of Toons. Crown jewel of Pharaoh Praxis the First" an unseen voice narrates as the Pharaoh himself appears

We cut immediately to a bald, heavily scarred figure overlooking the night sky

"Home of Volgin, Praxis' high priest, keeper of the dead" the voice continues as a thin skinned red colored alien woman walks down

"Birthplace of Asaji Su Namun, Praxis' mistress. No other toon was allowed to touch her" the voice continued, Asaji nodding to one of Volgin's followers who were disguised as statues. Both Volgin and Asaji stared at each other longingly

"For their love, they were willing to risk life itself" the voice adds as Volgin's hand presses down on a tattoo on Asaji's arm. Immediately, Praxis enters the room and is confused when he sees the priests crowding him

"what… are *you* doing here?" Praxis asks in Toongyptian dialect as he walks over to his chambers and finds Asaji standing idly over a cat statue

"who has touched you?" Praxis asks threateningly, Asaji staring at her smeared tattoo. Just then, Praxis turned around, and, to his horror found Volgin staring back at him, swiping the pharaoh's sword

"Volgin?! My priest?!" Praxis gasps in outrage and horror. Without mercy, Volgin plunges the sword in Praxis as Asaji does the same. All after the pharaoh dies, angry shouting are heard which can mean only one thing

"The Medjai!" Volgin gasped as his priests grabbed Volgin and pulled him away from Asaji

"you WILL live again! I WILL resurrect you!" Volgin vowed as the priests hauled him off just as the Medjai entered

"my body is no longer his temple" Asaji remarked, plunging the knife into her chest, Volgin grimacing in pain

"to resurrect Asaji Su Namun, Volgin and his priests broke into her crypt and stole her body. They raced across the desert sands to Toonaptra, City of the Dead and final resting place for the wealthy toons of Toongypt" the narrator said as Volgin's chariots entered the foreboding and ominous city

"For his love, Volgin dared the gods' anger by stealing the scared black Book of the Dead from its resting place" the narrator added as the priests bowed and chanted over Asaji's corpse as Volgin stood over her, the Book of the Dead open

"Asaji's organs were removed and placed in sacred canopic jars" the narrator spoke as Volgin quoted an ancient Toongyptian spell. All at once, the waters turned black as a billowing phantasm emerged and materialized inside Asaji

"Asaji's soul had come back from the dead…" the narrator said, just before hordes of Medjai surrounded Volgin

"but the Medjai prevented the ritual from being completed" the narrator finished. With a loud bloodcurdling scream, the phantasm divebombed back into the water, Volgin yelling in anger

"Volgin and his priests were condemned to be mummified alive" the narrator spoke as the Medjai and several others began mummifying Volgin's priests as punishment

"as for Volgin, he was forced to endure the Homn-Dai; the worst of all curses, one so horrible, it had never been bestowed" the narrator continued as the Medjai mercilessly slashed Volgin's tongue, wrapped him in bandages, placed him in a sarcophagus and finally poured a large horde of flesh eating scarabs onto the wretched victim

"the Medjai sealed Volgin away inside his sarcophagus, for they would never allow him to be released for he would walk on this earth a plague, an unholy toon with the strength of ages, power over the sands and the glory of invincibility" the narrator spoke as time changed to 1920s Toonaptra


End file.
